CPR v Maverick United (Newton HS, Queens) - December 13, 2009

The match between CPR Black and Maverick United proved to be such a joke that it does not warrant a full match report.  As the referees organized the sides to start play, CPR looked across the pitch to see a depressing sight:  only 7 opponents.  Having thrashed a full-squad Maverick in the previous encounter, CPR were left to wonder why so many had bothered to come out to Queens in the rain for this. 

Needless to say the match resulted in a total and utter thrashing with goals and assists too many to count.  The only entertainment value from the affair came from the goalkeepers at each end of the pitch.  On the Maverick side, their keeper played with the focus and determination of a league cup final, despite the farcical nature of the encounter and lopsided scoreline.  He celebrated each save as if was a match-clincher and tried to rally his defense despite them leaking more attacks than a torn paper cup.  On the CPR side, the blowout prompted a revolving-door approach to goal-keeping in the second half.  Phillips produced a notable non-save, watching a just-above-head-high shot sail in just over him without even bothering to raise his hands.  He immediately substituted himself out of goal and Verdoux took his place, who subsequently managed to produce a self-nutmeg goal for Maverick. 

The true suspense from the day came in the match which followed.  As of kickoff time at 12:30, top-of-table Juniper Park had a meager squad of 6, insufficient to start under league rules.  CPR questioned the officials for league forfeit policy and were informed that Juniper would have a grace period of 30 minutes to field a minimum squad of 7 to play against league-bottom Destroyers, who had 9 players on sight and were dutifully warming up in the rain.  With the time on the clock showing 12:59pm, CPR luck ran out as a car with 3 Juniper players arrived to boost the squad above the minimum.  Juniper went on to win 6-2, keeping first place by 1 point over CPR with 1 match left to play. 

Final Score:  11-4

Goals: Phillips (3), Gudkov (3), Greicius, Hollins, Calcagni, Verdoux, Unknown (1)

Assists:  Gudkov (2), Ault, Engler, Phillips, Unknown (?)

Man of the Match:  none; the stats were big but the game so one-sided that none had any opportunity to stand out

Team:  Ault, Calcagni, Engler, Greicius, Gudkov, Hollins, Lukaszewski, Phillips, Stern, Verdoux

Team Bar Showing:  Unknown (presumed 0)

Special Thanks:  Serge's friend who played in goal (who managed to twice stop breakaways with blatant handballs outside the box and managed to not get sent off for either)