The 1pm start time meant that the players could enjoy a decent Saturday night for a change (well, in reality it meant they enjoy a decent lie in as Saturday night shenanigans tended to stay the same). They would probably need all their energy as although there were initially 15 listed on the evite, it was a soft 15 as several of the substitutes were in various stages of either injury or in poor shape. Playing against a notoriously ill tempered side, the fact that there was no sight of the referee and the teams would be forced to pick a ‘neutral’ referee to play the game was the last news CPR wanted to hear. With Gallagher pulling up lame leaving the triple threat of an injured Venkataraman, Faherty & Murray on the bench, the omens were as far from positive as possible.

Right from the kickoff it was apparent Casanova didn’t receive the memo that there would be little help from the substitute’s bench, flying around like a whirling dervish and urging his nonplussed teammates to do the same. Meanwhile Banatul appeared to have just as many substitutes as players, a distinct advantage. Also an advantage was the decrepit old man they had wheeled out and provided a whistle. Although speculation was that he was somebody’s Dad out to watch the game on a nice day, some players were adamant that he was in fact an injured Banatul player. CPR treated the initial biased decisions with foreboding, but were pleasantly surprised when the avalanche of blatant homerism failed to materialize. The 65-35 ratio was one they could live with, especially since it was soon apparent that their skill, stamina and teamwork far exceeded the opposition.

Just as last week, CPR were quickly on the scoreboard with Fink looking to make an impression in front of his sister. After his initial well taken goal, another shot from the outside crashed against the crossbar but out of reach of the late arriving CPR hordes. With acres of space and Banatul using an apparent turtle’s head formation (6-3-1) even the Old Boyz defenders started to get into the act. Walby was lucky not to suffer from altitude sickness, pushing all the way up to the fringe of the 18 yard box to dish off to Mershon, who even for him took such a clinical shot from the outside that the competent opposition goalie had absolutely no chance.

	Not pictured, $800 jeans and chortling Brazilian sales assistant

Fink was enjoying his rare time as a featured striker in Gallagher’s defence, crashing another shot off of the crossbar. This time Morse raced through and headed the ball into the open net. Meanwhile Banatul were able to muster one measly attack, a ricochet resulting in a one on one with a distracted chatty Becker who nonetheless stood his ground and patiently waited for the opposition striker to make a mistake, which he duly did.

Although with a similar 3 goal lead to last week, the opposition wasn’t quite as feeble as the Brooklyn Gunners, and with a threadbare bench the management urged everyone to keep it simple. The Old Boyz had so much space that sometimes they were unnerved at the plethora of choices, either trying to be too clever or too careless. The second half saw them try to nip this in the bud, and for some mysterious reason Banatul’s substitutes appeared to add absolutely no value whatsoever. In fact, gaping holes started to appear at the back giving CPR an abundance of chances coming forward.

	Its nice to meet a team that makes CPR look like a bunch of whippersnappers

However, from a seemingly innocent shot from deep the ball took an awkward bounce in front of Becker. Rather than charge the ball down he attempted to tap it pass the onrushing Banatul striker who made an excellent hustle play to body the ball into the net. All of a sudden, life entered Banatul. 50-50 balls were won, shots were taken, an open header went dangerously close. 5 minutes of nervousness ensued, but another counterattack from Hamilton resulted in Fink putting the ball in the net. A few more clear chances were missed and it was Bantul’s turn again, with Edmunds taking a player down in the penalty area. Although a clear penalty it looked like the player was relieved to have the decision made for him as he had been trying to turn Edmunds back and forth while dithering about taking a shot. Whoever took the penalty did a stellar job, and once again the deficit was 3.

With Venkataraman and Gallagher both out it was upto El Presidente Faherty to man the forward duties with Fink, and much to the roaring delight of the sideline he put in a cross from Hamilton. The game started to degenerate into a farce as CPR had so many chances but couldn’t take them, while Banatul appeared to look for a white towel they could throw into the ring. A rebound bouncing around the area resulted in Fink cementing his hat-trick. With the last kick of the game, a dubious free kick awarded to Banatul (perhaps out of sympathy) resulted in an excellent finish and a third goal.

	With 2 8am kickoffs in 3 weeks, the UN needs to look into violations of the rights of the CPR Old Boyz to have some kind of a Saturday Night.

Although a solid all around performance, CPR needs to realize not all opponents will be so light weight. They need to tighten up at the back as the goals given up meant they were leading the league only by goals scored, tied on goal difference with Pele. However there are vastly more promising signs than negative, and as the boyz continue to familiarize themselves with each other’s strengths and foibles the hope is that a genuine title or cup challenge can materialize.

Competition: Banatul, League Opposition

Location: Met Oval, Queens

Conditions: Excellent football playing weather.

Fans: 3 (The better Fink, Crocked Adi Gallagher & Old Man Shafranek)

Result: 6-3 (3-0 at H/T)

Goals: 1-0: Fink

2-0: Mershon, Assist Walby

3-0: Morse, Assist Fink

4-1: Fink, Assist Hamilton

5-2: Faherty, Assist Hamilton

6-2: Fink

Yellow Cards: None

Red Card: None

Mike D’s aka No Shows: None.

Conboy’s aka Reverse Mike D’s: None

Old Man of the Match: A pretty good performance by all, especially the central midfield with Morse & Mershon both bossing the game physically and verbally. Faherty of course had his debut goal for CPR after 10 years of mostly playing defence. However, with 3 goals and an assist while also hitting the crossbar twice there was no way to deny the Finkster his due. Extra credit for bringing his lovely sister to the game and especially the bar afterwards. Hope the date with Johnny Cape Town went well.

Old Man of the Bar: An excellent performance by a good number of the boyz followed by a visit to 6 Ward to see off Nat back to Scouseland. The next OMoB will probably be someone who can explain to the overmatched staff how to change and then keep the right NFL channels on.

Team Bar Showing: 9 out of 15 (60%)

Team Bar Night: 4 out of 5 – The presence of a number of the other teams certainly helped it turn out to be a good day/night.

Team (No new profiles this week): Mark Becker (GK), Steve Teesdale (DF), Gavin Hamilton (DF), Marc Walby (DF), Lars Murray (DF) , Mark Resnik (DF) , Mark Edmunds (DF), Steve Morse, Manohar Venkataraman , Creighton Mershon, Manuel Casanova , Andrew Faherty, Kevin Fink, Hakan Nizam

Scouting Report: Fortunately Banatul were not their usual churlish selves but were actually civilized to play against. The few late tackles that did come in resulted in apologies, which was nice to hear. Overall an older side, the last two results against them have resulted in an aggregate of 10-4 (and it wasn’t that close). CPR should expect to beat them on a regular basis.

Goalie: A very solid goalie by the league standards, made some saves and did what he could against an incessant onslaught. Hard to give any goalie a grade A when he gave up 6 goals though. Grade: B+.

Defenders: Slow and clumsy, the longer the game went the more they played out of position and gave CPR acres of space for wide open cross field balls. Grade: F.

Midfielders: Moderate skill but really did not show a lot, and had a tough time competing with the steely Morse/Mershon combination. Liked to play offence, defence not so much. Grade: D

Strikers: Once again, not much to offer primarily because of a lack of opportunities. One excellent hustle play resulted in a goal, and one penalty won. Grade: B.